Today’s post is about a topic that has played an important role in my life for the last 3 years. Long distance relationships…
Three years ago I went on an exchange year to San Pedro Sula, Honduras. That’s the country where I found, next to new friends and a Honduran family, LOVE. Before that moment I never really knew what that word meant. I thought I knew, but I didn’t.
Most of you probably experienced that feeling of always wanting to be with someone, and when you’re not together you’re wondering what he is doing and what he feels, and of course you’re also wondering if he is thinking about you as much as you do about him. And then when you get a text of him you hope that he is going to say that he misses you, even though you saw him like 10 minutes ago, and you also hope that he tells you how much you mean to him… And when he does, well that’s the greatest feeling in the world.
I could live this life together with him forever, but as I told you, I was on an exchange year which meant that there would come a day to say goodbye.
I can still remember that first day we said goodbye, or let’s say better ‘hasta luego’. It was the hardest day of my life. We were a group of about 10 Belgians that had to go home again. Some brought their host family to the airport, others brought their friends and I brought Eduardo, my boyfriend. Some of us were happy to go home, but most of us were sad. And I was extremely sad.
At the airport of Tegucigalpa you have the advantage that the people can stay with you until you’re really on the plane. At least, like that we could stay together a little longer. I didn’t go on the plane until they were starting to call the names of the people who didn’t check in yet, and then there was the moment. I had to go.
I remember that I wasn’t sitting next to one of the Belgians on the plane. I was sitting alone, waiting to read the letter that Edu gave me before he kissed me goodbye. When the plane was moving I was texting with Eduardo, until they obliged me to turn of my cell phone. I was just in time to read his last message “TE AMO TE AMO TE AMO!”. Then the plane went up in the air and I could just dream about going back to the country and the boy I love as soon as possible. Next to me there was sitting a Costa Rican musician. When I started reading the letter I was crying and shaking. You must know that normally I would never show my feelings in public, but that changed that day. I think I just wasn’t ready to tell him goodbye. I’m still thankful to that Costa Rican guy that he cheered me up in that moment with his stories about making music in different parts of the world. Even though I didn’t even ask his name, he was with me on one of the moments of my life that I won’t ever forget.
When I arrived at Brussels airport, someone of the exchange organization told us that there were some people waiting with banners, so we all started guessing who would be welcomed with a banner. It turned out that my sisters stood there with one, which was so cute of them! They even started crying (Sorry sisters!). That’s another moment that I won’t ever forget. My family was so happy that I was home, while I had mixed feelings on that moment. I was very happy to be back with them again, but sad that I couldn’t introduce them to my boyfriend.
In fact I’m lucky that I have such a supporting family, even though I can be sure that they won’t ever completely get the way I felt on that moment.
Well that was the first goodbye, and even though everyone declared me crazy, at the moment I had 3 of those goodbyes already. Every year during vacations I go to Honduras to see my boyfriend, and I can honestly say that even though I like being home, those couple of weeks/months a year that I spend together with him, are always the nicest of the year.
To everyone who ever laughed at me while saying ‘amor de lejos, amor de pendejos’, I’d like to say this: “It may be hard to be with someone without actually be with him, but at least you always have someone at the end of the day that listens to you, and that helps you when you need him and even though it’s so hard to miss each other, at the end when you see each other, you’ll be happier than ever, and you’ll experience the kind of love that others cannot understand.”